I want to die but I want to eat tteokbokki, by Baek Sehee

 

Author Baek Sehee is a successful professional in the publishing industry who grew up with an abusive father and a hypercritical mother. Internalizing the criticism, as a young woman she questioned and criticized herself to the point of depression and severe anxiety. The depression is disruptive, but not so debilitating that she does not still want her favorite foods, such as tteokbokki. After initiating therapy with a psychiatrist, Baek began to record her sessions, and the bulk of this book consists of transcriptions of discussions in which they talk about her depression and pervasive self-criticism. Baek is cringingly honest and authentic throughout. While many of Baek’s anxieties may seem trite or petty (e.g., “Is she prettier than I am?”), they interfere with her ability to live a full life. She begins each chapter with a brief essay that introduces a topic she wants to discuss with the psychiatrist and concludes each one with an essay reflecting on what she learned from the session. Chapters address topics such as honesty, self-surveillance, self-esteem, medication, physical attractiveness, and more. VERDICT This is a sincere attempt at self-discovery that will resonate with young people who suffer from similar forms of depression and anxiety. 

This review was previously published in Library Journal 147:8 (2022):106.

The magicians: Alice's story, by Lev Grossman, Lilah Sturges, Pius Bak

 

This graphic novel tells the story of Alice, one of the main characters in The Magicians, a fantasy novel about a group of students who learn that their favorite fantasy series as children turns out to be true (think something along the lines of Narnia). The artwork is very good, with engaging color, and expressive characters. The only thing that I don't like about this book and the original novel is that the main characters are always bickering and angry, which I found a little tiresome.

Dreams of departure, by Naguib Mahfouz

 

It's been 26 years since I read Naguib Mahfouz's Cairo Trilogy, which I enjoyed as much for the writing as for learning about modern Egyptian culture. Not long after writing those books, Mahfouz was attacked, stabbed by someone inspired by a fatwa placed on him because of another of his books, Children of the Alley. Mahfouz, born in 1911, didn't write very much after that attack, which damaged his nerves and affected his ability to write. However, he did manage to write several collections of dreams. Dreams of Departure is the second of these volumes collecting short narratives that were inspired by actual dreams, on which he expanded with additional fictional details. They are very short; in many cases, they're only a few sentences. Many of them evoke sexual encounters with beautiful women. Others clearly refer to political violence, arrests, detentions, and revolutions. Read as a stand-alone volume, these are slight and generally unsatisfying. However, according to the translator, Raymond Stock, who is a scholar of Mahfouz and is currently writing a biography of him, details in these short dreams provide many clues and references to things that took place in Mahfouz's real life as well as in his fiction, so this book might be more interesting to someone who is more steeped in his other writing.
 

A waiter in Paris: adventures in the dark heart of the city, by Edward Chisholm

 

Unable to find work after graduating from a London university, Chisholm followed his girlfriend to Paris looking for any type of work that he could find. After months with no success, and his relationship with his girlfriend souring, he found himself alone in Paris with an apartment that he could not afford. A frantic search for work followed, with Chisholm determined to find a job as a waiter. Successfully landing a job at a respectable restaurant, he is hazed by the other waiters until he finally catches on to the cutthroat culture that exists among them. His descriptions of the behind-the-scenes antics at the restaurant are highly entertaining. He brings the restaurant world

to life as he relates the stress, pressure, and anxiety felt by all the workers. The long hours, the competition among the waiters, the petty grudges, and the poor treatment by supervisors are all exposed. Most poignant are his coworkers’ stories: they share their hopes and dreams with him. With this book, Chisholm has achieved his own dream to become a writer. VERDICT An absorbing and moving inside look at a Parisian restaurant.

Review published originally in Library Journal 147:7 (2022): 71-72.

The family Chao, by Lan Samantha Chang

This is meant to be an update on The Brothers Karamazov, but since I haven't read that book yet, it didn't shed any light on this book for me. I enjoyed the story, which centers around an odious father, Leo Chao, who treats his employees, children, and wife terribly. His wife left him to enter a convent, his oldest son hates him, and his middle son left as soon as he could to make his fortune in New York. James, the youngest son, is the only one who still loves Leo, who is murdered on Christmas Eve about halfway through the book. Suspicion falls on Dagou, the oldest son, and rightfully so, given that he has expressed many times that he wished his father were dead. But he claims his innocence, so the other brothers have to figure out who the murderer is. The writing is good, although the dialog is stilted, with main characters making long speeches throughout that just don't seem natural. The middle son, Ming, despises Chinese culture, and other passages stereotype American tastes and habits. This was a book club pick for May; it got mixed reviews.
 

Bad kid: a memoir, by David Crabb

 

I enjoyed this heartfelt memoir by actor David Crabb. Growing up gay and goth in rural Texas was not easy; throw in drug abuse and a fractured family, and it's even more difficult. I enjoyed the author's reminiscing about music from the 1980s and 1990s, and appreciated his attempts to find love when he felt so awkward. I found his accounts of long, drug-filled nights out with friends to be a little more than I needed to know, but you can speed read those parts.